I’ve been reading lots of middle-aged bloke’s books recently: The Mask of Demetrios by Eric Ambler, The Vivero Letter by Desmond Bagley, The Ipcress File by Len Deighton.
To offset this I became, briefly, a member of the Harlequin Mills and Boon book club and had a sex change.
For it is impossible to buy romantic novels without turning into a woman. I tried to get the publishers to call me Mr. Grinton but their database was very reluctant and I kept getting letters addressed to Ms. Grinton instead.
Finally the publishers accepted the change and I received a package addressed to Mr. Grinton. But the funny thing was, the postal worker who delivered it was a woman and when she asked me to sign for it she addressed me as “Mrs Grinton,” despite what it said on the label.
I’ve now cancelled my membership, not because of the mix up, but because the books are unbelievably dull and the free gifts fell far short of my expectations.